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WHICH ESCORT AGENCIES IN MANCHESTER ARE OPEN?

SECRETS ESCORTS MANCHESTER OPEN FOR BUSINESS!AVAILABLE MANCHESTER ESCORTS Secrets Escorts, Manchester's best escort agency, re-opened on Thursday 2nd July and we resumed normal working hours from 12pm Monday - Friday and from 6pm on Saturdays and Sundays just over a week ago. We didn't realise you guys had missed us so much! Our exclusive Manchester escort girls have been run off their feet partying every night in Manchester city centre and there's definitely a feeling that everyone's making up for lost time!WHICH MANCHESTER HOTELS ARE OPEN?Manchester city centre hotels opened around the same time that our premier Manchester escorts starting offering their GFE services once again, and our stunning party girls have once again been making excellent use of the most luxurious hotel rooms in central Manchester! Many Manchester hotels have now re-opened for business, including The Holiday Inn in Manchester city centre, The Radisson Edwardian just off St Peter's Square in Manchester, and Hotel Motel One at Manchester's Royal Exchange. So far there haven't been any issues at all with booking our exclusive Manchester escorts in these hotels, so feel free to book your Manchester city centre hotel with confidence!IS IT SAFE TO BOOK ESCORTS IN MANCHESTER?We at Secrets Manchester are doing everything possible to keep our escorts and clients as safe as possible while Manchester and the UK gradually returns to normal. We have introduced social distancing measures in our offices and on-site photography studio as well as stringent hygiene checks. We have limited the number of escorts travelling together and introduced mandatory face coverings for all escorts in transit. We are temperature checking all our Manchester city centre escorts prior to starting their shifts and throughout, and have also provided escorts with access to contactless thermometers should they need reassurance that their clients are also healthy. We are also starting to phase in card payments for some escorts to encourage minimal contact with cash. We ask that all clients only book our exclusive Manchester escorts if they are fit, healthy and showing no signs of Covid-19. CALL SECRETS ESCORTS MANCHESTER NOW TO BOOK YOUR ESCORT DATE!0161 798 6769  
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BUSY MANCHESTER ESCORT AGENCY NEEDS YOU!

IMMEDIATE START ESCORT JOBS WAITING IN MANCHESTER NOW!If you're skint after lockdown and you need a job that earns well, is flexible and FUN, then look no further! Secrets Manchester has escort jobs waiting RIGHT NOW and we're looking for hot, sexy party girls who want to start escort work immediately. MANCHESTER ESCORT WORK AVAILABLESecrets Manchester is looking for ladies aged 18-50 who are pretty, sexy and open minded. For committing to working 2 nights per week, you'll be rewarded with the best escort rates and the lowest agency fees in Manchester.FEMALE-RUN ESCORT AGENCY JOBSYou'll be working with a female-run escort agency on an independent, self-employed basis and entertaining our lucky clients on outcall dates in Manchester city centre and across the North West. Our elite Manchester escorts generally earn upwards of £500 per night, with our top escorts earning much more! THE BEST ESCORT EARNINGS IN MANCHESTERYou'll need to be a night owl as we open right through the night and into the following morning. Our Manchester escorts are glamorous 24/7 with hair perfect, nails manicured and dressed up ready to party every night of the week. If you're a high maintenance type of girl who LOVES looking good and adores being admired, we reckon you'll fit in well at Secrets escorts. Manchester city centre escorts are naughty, sexy and very eager to please, so if you think you've got what it takes and you want to start working and earning immediately, just give us a call. LOWEST ESCORT AGENCY FEESApply now to be a Manchester escort and be guaranteed that you'll be paying the lowest escort agency fees in Manchester and the North West, meaning that you'll be making more money as an elite escort with Secrets than you would with any other escort agency in the Manchester area. Apply online for escort jobs now and you could even be starting your life as a top-earning Manchester escort today!0161 798 6769    
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ESCORT JOBS IN MANCHESTER NOW AVAILABLE!

APPLY TO BECOME A TOP-EARNING ELITE MANCHESTER ESCORT!START MANCHESTER ESCORT WORK The long lockdown is over (we hope!), and while things aren't yet 'normal', Manchester is definitely starting to feel like Madchester once again. Manchester's escort girls are premium paid companions who work on a self employed basis. The best escorts in the Manchester area can earn top dollar for their GFE escort services and are in demand for their beauty, style, sense of fun and open-mindedness. Now that Manchester escorts are returning to doing what they do best, our Manchester escort agency is once again turning its attention to would-be escorts who are seeking representation from the best escort agency in the North West. GET ESCORT JOBS NOW!Many of Manchester's bars, restaurants and hotels re-opened on July 4th and Secrets Escorts enjoyed its first outcall outings since lockdown began back in March. Our Manchester escort girls enjoyed a very busy weekend partying the night away, and while it's a wee bit difficult to provide GFE escorting services AND socially distance, feedback suggests that our elite escorts managed to have fun, stay safe AND keep our lucky clients very happy! Working with a responsible, professional Manchester escort agency, your welfare and safety always comes first, so if you're looking for a fun, safe job in Manchester earning the best rates in the North West, you're in the right place. MANCHESTER ESCORT RECRUITMENTBecoming a Manchester city centre escort is really easy. The best way to apply to become a Manchester escort girl is to apply online. Fill out your details and add a couple of recent, unfiltered photos that show your face and figure clearly and we'll get back back to you as soon as we can. After a brief chat we'll get the ball rolling by sending you our terms and conditions by email. Once you've signed on the dotted line, we'll email your welcome pack over to you and get you set up in our systems.  It really is that simple. EARN TOP ESCORT RATES IMMEDIATELYIf you've been scrimping and saving during lockdown, don't worry - we can get you out to work that same night! We appreciate that many of you will have built up debts while the UK shielded from covid-19 and unlike other escort agencies, we don't expect you to be the full package straight away. As long as you commit to spending a little bit of what you earn on your image and appearance over the coming weeks, you can start immediately and Secrets will help you get back on your feet. Alternatively, if you'd prefer to go away and think about starting work as a Manchester escort, there's no pressure to start work straight away - take your time and let us know when you're ready. MANCHESTER ESCORT JOBS ARE AVAILABLE NOW!0161 798 6769 
MANCHESTER’S PREMIER ESCORT AGENCY IS OPEN FROM 2ND JULY 2020

MANCHESTER’S PREMIER ESCORT AGENCY IS OPEN FROM 2ND JULY 2020

Hopefully you’ve seen our latest news post and you’re aware that we’ll be re-opening Secrets Escorts Manchester from 2nd July 2020 and we’re delighted to be able to offer you exclusive Manchester escort girls from 6pm.  While restrictions have been eased, we aren’t yet out of the woods and Secrets still needs to make sure that the welfare of our escorts and clients comes first.  When we re-open we will be asking both our escorts and clients to comply with some new safety measures so that you get the best out of your Secrets Escorts experience.  SAFETY OF MANCHESTER ESCORTS All administrative staff and escorts will be temperature checked at the start of their shifts. Our Manchester escorts will also be temperature checked throughout their shifts to ensure that they are in good health and not showing any recognisable signs of covid-19.  Be assured that any escorts showing signs of covid-19 will be sent home and prohibited from escort work for 14 days as per government self-isolation guidelines.  Although our self-driving escorts will continue to operate as normal, our driven escorts will be travelling alone with just a driver to minimise contact with others. For logistical reasons, this may mean that your estimated arrival time is slightly longer than you would usually expect. Please be patient with us and be assured that we are doing everything we can to ensure a smooth, safe service.  Escorts are required to wear gloves while handling cash payments.  While at our offices and studio, all escorts will be held to strict hygiene rules and contact between escorts will be strictly limited.  SAFETY OF CLIENTS Our clients are asked that they only book our Manchester and North West escorts if they are in good health. Please DO NOT book an escort if you show any symptoms of covid-19 or if you have been in contact with anyone showing symptoms.  Your chosen escort mayl ask to take your temperature at the start of the booking. This is for her safety and for the safety of all escorts working with Secrets. Should you show a high temperature, your escort will wait a further 5-10 minutes before re-taking your temperature. If your temperature is consistently high, she will record the result via photo on her phone to demonstrate to the agency that it is unsafe to continue in the booking.  Please shower immediately prior to your escort booking. If your escort believes that you haven’t showered within 30 minutes of her arrival, she will ask you to shower within your allotted time period.  Secrets would request that you try to have sanitiser or handwash available for use throughout your booking.  Your escort will use your showering facilities at the end of the booking where possible. 
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ROCHDALE AND OLDHAM ESCORT SERVICES

DO GFE ESCORTS COVER ROCHDALE & OLDHAM?The answer is yes! Many clients automatically assume that GFE escorts only cover major cities, for example Manchester city centre, Liverpool city centre or Leeds city centre, but Manchester based escorts also cover areas in Greater Manchester, Trafford, Lancashire, Cheshire and Tameside. At Secrets Escorts Manchester, all of our escorts cover Rochdale and Oldham as standard, and they are delighted to visit homes and hotels in the Rochdale and Oldham areas. BEST ESCORTS FOR HOTELS IN ROCHDALELocated within 30 minutes of Manchester city centre, Rochdale is well serviced by the North West motorway system including the M60, M62 and M66. All of our Manchester escort girls cover central Rochdale and many of our escort companions also cover areas such as Whitworth, Wardle, Littleborough, Milnrow, Royton, Shaw and Heywood. A large former mill and textile manufacturing town on the outskirts of Greater Manchester, Rochdale has plenty of hotels in which to book Rochdale escorts. Our Rochdale escorts cover such hotel destinations as the Royal; Toby Hotel, Manchester Road Castleton, Rochdale OL11 3HF England, the Mecure Manchester Norton Grange Hotel and Spa, Manchester Road, Rochdale OL11 2XZ England, The Comfort Inn, 818 Manchester Old Road, Middleton, Rochdale M24 4RF England and Rochdale Premier Inn, Newhey Road Milnrow, Rochdale OL16 4JF England. THE MOST STUNNING OLDHAM ESCORTSOldham, which lies next to Rochdale is also a large North West town that sits on the outskirts of Greater Manchester and is easily accessed from Manchester city centre. Again, all Secrets escorts cover the central Oldham areas. Our self-driving escort girls also cover outlying areas such as Lees, Moorside, Delph, Diggle and Uppermill. All our Oldham escorts visit homes and hotels in the Oldham areas, and are delighted to rendevous with you at any of the following hotels in Oldham: 24/7 Hotel, Manchester St, Oldham OL8 4AS, Best Western Hotel Smokies Park, Oldham, Ashton Rd, Bardsley, Oldham OL8 3HX and Premier Inn, Oldham, Westwood Leisure Park, Westwood Way, Chadderton Way, Oldham OL1 2NA.ESCORT SERVICES IN LANCASHIRE Sghould you wish to book escort services in Rochdale or Oldham, our Manchester based escort agency is able to provide you with outcall services to your home or hotel. Simply call our escort agency service for a list of GFE escort companions in the Rochdale and Oldham areas this evening. For the best and most stunning escort girls in Rochdale, Secrets Escorts should be your first phone call. Contact us directly for information about teen escort girls in Rochdale and Oldham, mature companions in Lancashire and party girl escort services in Greater Manchester. 0161 798 6769 
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MANCHESTER'S BEST GFE ESCORT SERVICES

ELITE GFE ESCORT GIRLS IN MANCHESTER & NORTH WESTWHAT SERVICES TO MANCHESTER ESCORTS OFFER?At Secrets we are frequently asked by clients about escort services and what escort girls provide during an escort date. Our elite Manchester escorts don't advertise specific services - after all, each premium escort is different, so the escort services provided by each companion will vary. The wonderful thing about Secrets escorts is that our independent Manchester and North West escort girls charge an hourly rate which is for your time only - anything else that happens between you guys is a matter between two consenting adults. GFE OR GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE ESCORTS IN MANCHESTER So what is 'a girlfriend experience', or GFE as it's also known? A Manchester girlfriend experience is exactly what it says on the tin, to quote a phrase. Our premium Manchester escort girls hire out their time by the hour and they will give you the experience of having a girlfriend for the length of time you've booked.BOOK THE MOST STUNNING GFE MODEL ESCORTS IN THE NORTH WESTAnd it's not just any old girlfriend experience either! Our Manchester GFE escort companions come in all shapes and sizes, so if you're seeking the services of a genuine model escort in Manchester so that you can show off your new stunner of a 'girlfriend' to your mates or colleagues, you can call Secrets Escorts Manchester to book an hour or longer with sone of Manchester's most beautiful elite escorts. Or perhaps you're looking for company from a more subtly sensational companion who will blend in to any social situation, making a discreet yet beautiful plus one for guys who don't want to stand out too far from the crowd with their choice of escort girl. WHERE CAN I BOOK GFE ESCORTS IN MANCHESTER?Elite escort girls in Manchester will meet you at your chosen location. Perhaps you'd like a date out on the town and you're in need of a local girl to take care of you while you party out in Manchester city centre? Our central Manchester party girl escorts would be the perfect choice for this type of booking and they can meet you in your hotel, at your home, at your work, or at your preferred cocktail bar - it's your choice! Your time starts when your escort arrives and your companion can stay as long as you like. For hotel bookings, we ask that you meet your escort girl outside your Manchester hotel to escort her in if your booking after 8pm. The only place that Manchester escort girls won't visit is anywhere that is deemed unsafe - other than that, you call the shots. HOW CAN I BOOK MANCHESTER GFE ESCORT GIRLS? Just call Secrets Escorts, Manchester's premium elite escort service. Our independent Manchester, Cheshire and North West escorts are ready and waiting for your call and we're open 18 hours a day from 12pm until extremely late to bring you the best escort girls and GFE companions in Manchester and the North West. 0161 798 6769
HIRING BLONDE MANCHESTER ESCORTS

HIRING BLONDE MANCHESTER ESCORTS

THE BEST BLONDE ESCORT GIRLS IN MANCHESTER When it comes to booking Manchester escorts, our blonde companions would definitely say they have more fun. With only 2% of the world population being naturally blonde, blonde escorts are always in demand as they stand out in the crowd with their golden or platinum locks, making blonde escort girls the most desirable in the room. STUNNING BLONDE ESCORTS IN MANCHESTERManchester's best escort agency, Secrets Escorts represents a large selection of blonde Manchester escort girls who aren't just beautiful, they also offer the best GFE escort services in Manchester and the North West. Elite blonde escorts at Secrets Escorts Manchester are stunning, sexy and ready to party. When you book a premium blonde escort from Secrets, you're guaranteed the night of your life. MATURE & TEEN BLONDE ESCORT GIRLSWhich elite blonde Manchester escort should I choose? Well - let's face it, at Manchester's most exclusive escort agency you'll be spoilt for choice! Secrets represents mature blonde Manchester and North West escorts aged 40+. Our mature blonde companions cover the whole of Cheshire, Lancashire and the entire North West region. We have slim, toned mature blonde escorts and curvy, busty blonde escorts at Secrets, so if mature escort companions are what floats your boat, Secrets can certainly oblige. Secrets advertises the services of blonde escorts in their 20's and 30's, some of whom can cover the North West and some of whom are Manchester based party girl escorts. We also have a large selection of young blonde Manchester escorts, including teen blonde escorts and blonde escorts in their early 20's. If you love the charms of a teen escort in Manchester, check out Secrets exclusive selection of elite teen blonde escort girls. PLATINUM ESCORTS IN MANCHESTERDo you love escort girls with platinum blonde hair? These blonde escorts are the ultimate bobby dazzlers with slim, toned bodies and a year-round tan. Boasting big breasts and long legs, these blonde model escorts are the ultimate trophy dates for guys who want to be noticed with a stunner at their side. Check out our elite platinum blonde escorts Molly, Chloe and Nikki.BUSTY MANCHESTER ESCORTSIf an exclusive golden blonde escort with class and style is your fantasy girl, then Secrets premium escort girls Jodie, Roxy and Kylie will definitely be a must-see. These busty blonde escort companions are naturally beautiful, with long, beachy waves kissed by the sun and figures that boast firm curves as well as large natural boobs. BOOK BLONDE DUO ESCORTS IN MANCHESTEROr maybe a blonde escort duo is what's really going to make your night sizzle? Our most famous party girl escort duo in Manchester is Chloe and Nikki. These two platinum blonde Manchester city centre escort girls are the ultimate party date and are not to be missed if you're seeking the company of not one, but TWO elite blonde central Manchester escort girls. 0161 798 6769  
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Manchester Escort Agency - The Most Stunning Elite Teen Manchester Escorts

BOOK PREMIUM MANCHESTER ESCORTS - THE BEST IN THE NORTH WEST!THE MOST SOUGHT AFTER ELITE ESCORT GIRLSIf you're seeking the best escort girls in Manchester, congratulations - you've hit the jackpot! Our elite Manchester escort girls are the most stunning in Manchester and the North West, making our premium escorts the most sought after escort girls in the UK. MATURE ESCORTS IN MANCHESTER Our escort girls are diverse in their appeal. We represent sexy mature escorts whose skill and expertise is unrivalled anywhere in the North West. Our busty mature Cheshire companions and slim, toned 40+ escorts in Manchester offer the best GFE escort services anywhere in the UK and as such are always in demand for their beauty, class and elegance - not to mention their seductive allure. Ideal for the younger gentleman or the older client, mature Manchester escorts are the go-to for guys who are looking for guaranteed satisfaction from their escort experience. FIND THE BEST TEEN ESCORTS IN MANCHESTERSecrets also represents teen Manchester escorts, whose firm, young bodies will always appeal to gents who are seeking youthful beauty, enthusiasm and the ultimate party girl escort experience in Manchester city centre. Our teen escorts are fun, exciting and ready to make your night in Manchester thje best you've ever had. Teen escorts are stunning, sassy and very sexy, and their cheeky attitudes and naughty outfits will always ensure that you're the centre of attention when you book escorts services with our teen Manchester escort girls. BOOK DUO ESCORTS IN CENTRAL MANCHESTEROr maybe you'd like the best of both worlds? Have you considered booking duo escorts in Manchester? Maybe the appeal of a more mature woman, coupled with the exuberance of a teen escort is just the experience that's going to make your fantasies come true? Many of our escorts, both mature escorts and teen escort companions enjoy offering duo escort services in Manchester city centre and the North West. Do you dream of being the master of an older and younger sister for the night? Or maybe you've always wanted to explore the desires you had as a younger man when you fancied your girlsfriend AND her mum...? Elite escorts in Manchester can make this fantasy come true with just a phone call. Within 30 minutes of calling Secrets you could be enjoying the company of a mature Cheshire escort AND a teen escort girl in Manchester in the comfort of your home or hotel. GFE ESCORT SERVICES MANCHESTERAll of our escorts offer the very best GFE escort services in Manchester. Whether you're looking for mature escorts, teen escorts or both, elite Manchester escorts can be yours with just a phone call to our Manchester escort agency.MANCHESTER'S BEST ESCORT AGENCYCall Manchester's best escort agency now!0161 798 6769Our Manchester and Salford escorts also cover: The City of Salford, Central Salford, Eccles, Worsley, Swinton, Walkden, Little Hulton, Irlam, Broughton, Claremont, Irwell Riverside, Kersal, Ordsall, Langworthy, Weaste, Seedley, Salford Quays & Media City, home of BBC North and Granada Television, and the area around the University of Salford.Call now to book Salford escorts and Manchester escorts!Liverpool city centre, including Liverpool city centre hotels, John Lennon Liverpool Airport, Bootle, Kirkby, Litherland, Prescot, Huyton, Birkenhead, Knowsley, Aintree, Whiston, Fazakerley, Knotty Ash, Everton, West Derby, Walton, Anfield, Kirkdale, Maghull, Crosby, St Helens, Lytham St Annes, The Wirral, Blackpool, Southport, the Fylde Coast, Cheshire, Chester, Warrington, Wigan, Leigh, Skelmersdale, Preston, Lancashire, Bolton, Horwich, Westhoughton, Farnworth, Kearsley, Little, Lever, Breightmet, Great Lever, Lostock, Bury, Prestwich, Whitefield, Manchester, Salford, Trafford, Tameside, Stockport, Marple, Glossop, Staylbridge, Ashton Under Lyne & Manchester AirportFOLLOW US!SNAPCHAT:USERNAME: secretsescorts
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MANCHESTER AIRPORT & CHESHIRE ESCORT SERVICES

THE BEST MANCHESTER AIRPORT & CHESHIRE ESCORTSManchester Airport and the Cheshire areas are ideally situated for Manchester city centre and the best Manchester city centre escort services. All of our Manchester escort girls are available for outcalls to hotels at Manchester Airport and surrounding areas, including Greater Manchester and Cheshire. The best GFE Manchester escort services can be accessed within the hour whether you're at home in Cheshire or Greater Manchester, or staying at a Manchester Airport hotel. MANCHESTER AIRPORT HOTEL CLIENTSFor clients flying into Manchester Airport and wishing to book the services of one of Manchester's best elite escorts, there are a few things to be aware of when you call our Manchester Airport escort agency.HOW CAN I PAY MANCHESTER ESCORTS?Our preferred method of payment is cash and payments are ideally made in Sterling. You are welcome to pay in other currencies, however will will need to include an additional charge to cover the buy-back rate when exchanging your currency into Sterling. This additional charge will depend on current exchange rates. You may however find it simpler to change your currency to British pounds at your hotel reception. DO MANCHESTER ESCORTS VISIT HOTEL ROOMS?When booking Manchester escorts at your Manchester Airport hotel after 8pm, you will be asked to meet your Manchester escort girl either outside the hotel, or at the hotel bar before heading up to your room together. This will reduce the likelihood of our elite Manchester escorts being challenged on entry, which in turn may cause you embarassment. Should this be a problem for you, please speak to the receptionist at the point of your call. ARE MANCHESTER ESCORTS MULTILINGUAL?Don't worry too much if there is a language barrier as many of our escorts are bilingual or multilingual and speak other languages such as Spanish, French, Polish etc. You are welcome to email over any prior requests via our contact page if you find it easier to write rather than speaking over the phone. We have every confidence that when you meet your premium Manchester escort you'll be speechless anyway!FIND MANCHESTER AIRPORT ESCORT GIRLSBooking Manchester escorts is super-easy! Simply call our Manchester city centre escort agency to request the best GFE escort services in Manchester. We'll confirm with you your name, your preferred contact number and your address before asking your Cheshire companion to give you a personal call. Once the booking has been made, you can expect your Manchester escort girl to arrive at your Manchester Airport hotel in less than an hour. 0161 798 6769  
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CORONAVIRUS & DEALING WITH LOCKDOWN

HOW TO COMMUNICATE DURING COVID-19As yet another Thursday rolls around (at least, we *think it's Thursday...), we're approaching what *might be our final week in lockdown. Nearly 6 weeks in and lockdown has taken on a language all of its own. We discussed this a bit last week when I mentioned Quaranteenies and Quarantinis (there is an important difference), but since then helpful guides have emerged to help us communicate these unique experiences while we self isolate. Sadly, we at Secrets can't lay claim to these magnificent examples of linguistic evolution and adaptation, but we hope you use and enjoy them nonetheless. Lockdown lingo - are you fully conversant with the new terminology?*Coronacoaster*The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional coronacoaster”.*Quarantinis*Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week.*Le Creuset wrist*It’s the new “avocado hand” - an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware.*Coronials or Quaranteens/ Quaranteenies*As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the Quarn”.*Furlough Merlot*Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.*Coronadose*An overdose of bad news from consuming too much media during a time of crisis. Can result in a panicdemic.*The Elephant In The Zoom*The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.*Quentin Quarantino*An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.*Covidiot* or *Wuhan-ker*One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker”.*Goutbreak*The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s.*Antisocial distancing*Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating.*Coughin’ dodger*Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or throat-clear that they back away in terror.*Mask-ara*Extra make-up applied to "make one's eyes pop" before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.*Covid-10*The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve.Stay safe Secretsters! We're hoping we'll be back very soon!STAY AT HOME, PROTECT THE NHS, SAVE LIVES 0161 798 6769